Horray an update!!!!

Lia is getting so big and is as cute as ever. I LOVE having a girl but it is a lot of pressure to keep her looking cute all the time. Most the time you will find us in our PJ's but every now and then we look cute. Lia is the cutest baby ever and is so much fun right now. The boys are doing great too other than Jake fell out of bed Sun. night at midnight and I had to take him to the ER to have his head glued back together. Thank goodness my mom works there!!! Life is good for our family and we are so excited to share the Holidays with our little Lia. It is a dream come true for us to have her here this Christmas!!! I couldn't wish for anything more, I have all I ever wanted!!! The boys love playing with Lia and she loves them so much!!

The kids had so much fun picking out pumpkins and riding on the hay ride. They even picked out a cute Little pumpkin for Lia. Lia LOVES to sit with Cade and watch cartoons. Cade is such a good big brother and helps me so much with Lia. I LOVE this girl so much. She has been the sweetest baby and is even sleeping for 10hrs a night!!! I think she is so beautiful and LOVE dressing her!! She is such a little miracle and there is not a day that goes by that I am not SOOOO grateful to have her!!!!

MOST AMAZING GIFT EVER!!!!

This has got to be the coolest thing that has ever happened to me. My friend Heidi nominated me for Hailey Miller's give back. Haily is a VERY talented photographer who has done pictures for me in the past. She is giving back to those who have supported her over the years by giving one free photo shoot a month with edited pictures and CD included. It is over a $300.00 gift. Any way Heidi e-mailed her our story and we WON!!! When they called to tell me I had to sit down I was so stinkin excited. With the cost of Lia we are DIRT poor so this is something I would not have been able to do. I am THRILLED with the pictures and so happy that Hailey was able to capture what a miracle this is to our family. I will cherish these pictures for life!!! We will be on her Blog for the August give if you want to check it out at capturesphoto.squarespace.com

LOVE THIS GIRL!!!

We had Amanda over today for a visit with Lia. We had agreed to have her over at one month and we were very excited to see her again. All she asked was to see her at a month and one year, we were more than happy to give that to her. She looked amazing and it was a sweet thing to have her in our home. She stayed for about three hours and it went by so fast. We talked about everything and really had such a sweet spiritual experience with her. We could tell seeing Lia again brought her a lot of peace. Placement day was such a hard day with so many emotions, it was nice to have a more laid back happy day to remember. I just think the world of this girl and can not say enough good things about her. She is starting school in the fall and is enjoying spending time with her kids. Her life has been so hard and I feel so bad for all she has had to go through but we know that the Lord will bless her and her sweet family. She had us listen to these songs today. We both just cried. Anyone who has followed our story or gone through this experience with us knows how hard it has been, BUT also knows the amazing blessings that have come from it. This first song makes me think of each of our birth mothers and what they have done for us and it makes my heart swell with gratitude. They mean so much to us and we are grateful every day the Lord led them to us. I can not express with words how blessed I feel to have these sweet kids call me mom. The journey of Adoption has been the most amazing journey I could have ever asked for and I am so glad Heavenly Father trusted us enough to put us on this path. It is the most humbling experience to sit next to a sweet Birth Mother as she holds your baby and expresses gratitude for you. Amanda is just as grateful for us as we are for her which has made this experience so sweet. My heart is whole again and it feels so good! Every time I look at my sweet little Lia I feel so much peace, love and gratitude!!!!

Lia 2 Weeks

Here is our sweet little Lia at 2 weeks old. I feel sad that I missed out on those first 12 days of her life but we are making up for lost time. Jon had some time off so I have been able to just love on her as much as possible. She is the best baby and hardly ever cries. I love this face she is making. Her eyes look dark but they look like they are going to be blue. This out fit is newborn and the pants still drowned her. I have had so much fun dressing her every day. I thought my boys were fun to dress but this even more fun!!! She makes the cutest faces and we love it when she smiles. She is a peaceful happy baby and we love her so much!! I am in HEAVEN with this sweet baby girl of mine!!!

More pictures of Lia

Jon and I have been through so much together to get thees sweet children here. I am so grateful I have had him right by my side through this journey. We feel so blessed and feel we have accomplished the impossible. Three kids is more than we could have ever hoped for.

I am so grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who has blessed my life! It has not been an easy road but it has been one filled with tender mercys and wonderful blessings!!!

Our parents have done so much for us. We are so lucky to have the most amazing parents two kids could ask for. There faith, love and encouragement has carried us through this journey. THANKS Mom, Dad, Carla and Merrill for your love and support!!!! I just have to say thanks to all of you who have been praying for us and Amanda. We know that the prayers and faith of others can get us through our darkest hours.

OUR LITTLE LIA IS HOME!!!!

WOW, what an emotional, heartrenching, joyful day for our family. Every thing went so well and we are so glad to finally have Lia home with us.

This is Amanda, words can not express our love, admiration, and pure gratitude for this amazing woman who has given us the most incredible gift. Amanda has shown so much faith and strength through this whole process. She is the most amazing person I have ever known and we love her so much.

A LITTLE UPDATE

Just wanted to give a little update on how things are going. I talked to Amanda again today and she is doing amazingly well. We laughed at how this has been the longest week of our lives and the shortest of hers. I LOVE how open and honest we are with each other. She has been so good to us and has reassured us several times this week that she is strong in her decision. She said again today "I hope your still feeling okay because I am"! I mean really how on earth does she have the strength to reassure me when I know it has been so hard for her. Words can not describe the love I feel for Amanda. She has made some bad choices but underneath all that is the most amazing, beautiful, strong, faithful, courageous person I have ever known. I have seen first hand how hard this is for her and yet she is handling it with so much faith and courage. Jon and I know with out a doubt the Lord will bless her for her sacrifice. I want little Lia to always know how much Amanda loved her. I am so grateful for this little miracle that will be in my arms in just a few short days. I feel such a bond and connection with her. I LOVE my boys and just like there is something special between me and the boys there is something amazing between me and her. My only wish is that I could give her a sister but I am not even going to got there!!!! I am so excited to have a little shopping partner. Our family is complete and my heart is so full. Any way I will post pictures on Monday when we get home. Please pray for Amanda, these last few days will be the hardest!!!!

BABY LIA IS HERE!!!!

Well our little Lia came into the world a little sooner than we expected. Amanda (Lia's birth mother) went into the Dr. for a routine check up on Wed. June 24th and was sent right to Davis Hospital for a C-section. She had been having contractions and they were putting a lot of pressure on her incision from her last C-section. Any way the Dr. was worried it might tear so he wanted to take her asap. We were not able to be there but she weighed 6lbs. 8oz. and was 18 inches long. We were a little sad we weren't able to see her be born but we were just glad to hear she was doing okay. She was taken off her ventilator that night and her feeding tube the next day. We got to go see her on Sat. night in the NICU. It was so nice of Amanda to let us see her and be with her in the hospital. Even if it was only for a few minutes. I couldn't help but just cry. It is so incredible to see your baby for the first time. I fell in love with her in that instant and knew she was meant to be our little girl. My heart was full of joy but it also ached as we could tell it was hard for Amanda to see us with her. It also ached because I knew I would not be able to take her home with me. So we held her kissed her and said good bye not knowing when we would get to bring our sweet baby girl home.
Our camera was not working very well so these are bad pictures. I think she is the cutest thing I have ever seen. She only weighs 5lbs. 13oz. now and is the most perfect little thing you have ever seen. Her head is bruised from her IV but other than that she is perfect and beautiful in every way!!! You would think by looking at the picture of me that I just gave birth!!! But nope just emotionally exhausted!!! I Love this little girl and I have only spent 30 minutes with her. Amanda called yesterday to let us know they were both being discharged, which was a miracle considering Lia was 34 weeks 5 day gestation. We were so happy they would be able to leave together. Amanda also informed us she will be taking her home for a WEEK!!! I know what you are thinking, trust me I have been freaking out. Of course I did the only thing I could do....I told her that would be fine and that we supported her decision. Then I got off the phone and cried and cried and cried!!! Amanda had a lot of complications in the hospital and had to have surgery to stop some internal bleeding. She hardly got to spend any time with Lia so now she wants to take her home to have that time with her. What can I say to that. I understand but at the same time it is so hard. My heart is telling me everything is going to be okay but my head is making me freak out. For those of you who get to take your babies home with no strings attached you really don't know how lucky you are. I would give anything to be holding her right now but God has given me a different purpose, and that is to be here for a grieving Birth Mother as she prepares herself to do the hardest thing she will ever do in her life. I truly did not think I had it in me to do this again that is why we did IVF. I have done this twice before and this has by far been the hardest situation yet. I have had to dig deeper than ever before to have faith in Heavenly Fathers plan. Jon and I have both had confirmations that she is ours but it is the hardest thing to rely on someone else to make the right choice. I know our Father in Heaven will help her through this time and that this time next week we will bringing home our bundle of joy. Until then I sit and wait and go absolutely CRAZY!!! I miss her and can't wait to share with her all this love I have for her. Amanda is amazing and we are in awe of her strength and her courage. She needs lots of prayers so remember her when you kneel to pray. Sorry it has taken so long but I wanted to know for sure when she would be here before I posted anything. I know it will all be worth it in the end!!!!! I look at my boys and know with out a doubt I would go through it all again if it meant having them. I feel the same way about Lia, I know she will be worth it!!!

Lia's Baby Shower

My sister-in-laws wanted to give me a shower, since I have two boys and need LOTS of girls stuff I was so excited! . I got so many cute girl things, I couldn't believe it. So many people came to support me and it was so nice of them.

I love this picture of me, my grandma, mom, aunt, nieces, and cousins. My Aunt has 5 daughters and they have been more like sisters to me than cousins. Kassi (second over on the left) is my same age. She is having a little girl in September. How fun to have our girls so close together.

I Love my sweet mom! She is my rock and I am so grateful for her strong faith. I am so grateful to have such sweet loving sister-in -laws and mother-in-law. I think it is rare to have in-laws that you love as much as your own family. They do so much for me and have shown me so much love and support through this whole process of getting our family here. They were so excited to throw me this shower. I am truley blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people!!

ULTRA SOUND PICTURES OF LIA

So here she is, the sweet little girl that is going to be joining our family in just over 4 weeks. Her Birth Mother was kind enough to give us these pictures. They are from a couple of months ago but it is so fun to have a picture to look at. Since I am not carrying her it is hard to feel like it is real and having these pictures to look at every day will help it seem more real to us. I just cried when I saw this first one of her sweet little profile. She had it in a cute frame for me and it is now sitting on my desk. We just love her so much already!!! I also love the picture of her cute little feet and bum. She has her legs bent and her feet resting on her bum. Are those the cutest little toes or what? We are counting down the weeks until our little Lia gets here. I still have so much to do so I am sure it will go by fast. I have a shower next week and I am so excited for it. Girls really are so much fun!!!

Things are going really good with her Birth Mother. She is a sweet heart and we love her so much. She is still on bed rest but doing really well. She will be 32 weeks this Fri. and they are going to deliver her at 36 weeks. Lia is measuring really big so they are going to take her early as long as her lungs are developed. They will be doing a amniocenteses to make sure and if things look good she will go in for her C-Section. We are so excited to hold her and kiss her sweet face!!!

LIA'S DR. APT.

We got to see our sweet little Lia for the first time yesterday. It was so neat to see her and hear her heart beat, it made it feel even more real. The Birth Mother had to do a test for gestational diabetes and it and came back normal, which was great news. They are still concerned about her delivering early but she is now in the "safe zone" at 30 weeks. We were relieved to see first had that everything is okay and that she is doing good. They are hoping to get her to 37 weeks and then they will deliver the baby C-section. So at most we have 7 weeks until our little miracle is here. Is that just CRAZY!!! Two weeks ago there was not a spec of pink in our home and now that is all you see. I am trying to control myself cause I have two showers that my friends and family are giving me. It is so nice of them cause we have a LOT to buy. It is like starting all over again and it is so much fun. Jon and I feel so good about everything and have complete confidence the Birth Mom will place. She brought me a gift to the apt. yesterday. She gave me two little dresses and a pair of the cutest flip flops you have ever seen! She also gave us a sweet card expressing her gratitude for us and giving this baby girl a good home. She is heaven sent and we just love her. She is in a hard situation and has three children under 4. She knows that she can't give her baby the life she deserves and loves her enough to give her more. It is truely the most courageous, unselfish thing a person could do. She is on full bed rest until the baby is born which I'm sure is so hard with three small children. She is amazing and we just pray the Lord will watch over them. We will be going to her apt. with her in two weeks, so I will update you on her progress. In the main time keep her in your prayers!!!

THE FULL STORY......

So I just wanted to share the full story of what has happened. 2 1/2 weeks ago we got a phone call from our case worker asking us if we were okay to be shown to a birth mother who was in the hospital with pre-term labor at 27 weeks. They knew there was a good possibility the baby would be born early and they just wanted to make sure we were okay with a preemie. We with out hesitation said YES!! We knew we would just be one in many profiles she was looking at but we took the opportunity that Sun. to fast and pray for her and her sweet baby. We got a phone call the next day that she wanted to meet with us. They also let us know we were the only couple they were meeting with. The Birth Mother said she felt a strong connection with us but wanted to meet us first to see if that connection was real before she selected us. We were so excited to meet her and the birth father and felt that it would only confirm their feelings. It was an amazing moment walking into that room. We all hugged and the spirit filled the room as we began talking and getting to know each other better. She told us how her and the birth father took the files home separate and both with out knowing who the other had chosen chose the same file. They then took the files home to their families not telling them who they had chosen and each of their families chose the same profile.....which was ours. It was just another confirmation to all of us that this was meant to be and that the Lord had his had in what was happening. We cried and shared our lives with each other. Before we knew it it was time to go. I just started to cry as we left and called our parents to tell them how well it went. Our parents cried with us. We knew that this was our baby girl and we knew they knew it as well. The next day we received an e-mail from the Birth Father asking us to call the Birth Mother. I hurried and picked up the phone and called. She wished me a happy mothers day and went on to tell me that they had chosen us. She expressed how she knew from the day she found out that she was pregnant the baby wasn't meant to be hers, and how she has been in so much turmoil with how to place her for adoption. She has three other children who are under 4 and is not in a position to take on another. She said that when she found our profile and for sure when she met us that this was her answerer. She expressed how happy she was and that she finally felt peace with her situation. She then invited us to her appointments and the birth and told me she wanted us to be as involved as we wanted to be. It really is a dream come true for us. We are going to her Dr. apt tomorrow and we will be able to hear her heart beat and see our sweet baby girl for the first time. I have been on cloud nine ever since. It is like breathing new air!!!!! When our IVF failed a piece of my heart was lost. I was so sad and wondered why I had to endure such a heartbreaking trial. The past year has been so hard for me. I love my life and my amazing family, I am so blessed. But I just felt a piece of me was missing. A couple of months ago I finally came to a place where I was able to let that pain go and know I had done all I could and the rest was up to the Lord. I came to accept the whole in my heart and was okay that it would not be filled until our next child came. I knew the Lord would bless us with another child I just didn't know how or when. I started living my life again....I signed up for two bike rides, planned on getting Lagoon passes and having a fun summer with the boys, and was looking forward to all of our family get aways. I had the summer planned out!!! Little did I know this miracle would come along. So this summer will be even better than I thought. The boys are so excited to have a little sister and we are ecstatic to have a daughter. She is the final piece to our puzzle. I can't tell you how amazing it feels to know we are DONE!!!! She is the icing on the already perfect cake! I am so grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who knows what we need to learn and grow and if we but endure will send us amazing blessings. My heart is so full I have a hard time finding words. I just want all of you to know how grateful we are to have such amazing family and friends. Your prayers are what have helped us receive this blessing. And to my sweet husband who has spent countless nights consoling me and never letting me give up hope, I love you!!!! We are going to name her Lia Diane, after my mom. My mom has cried all my tears with me, so it means a lot to me to be able to name my daughter after her. I hope that this can give others in our situation hope. Miracles do happen. I wonder sometimes what I have done to be so blessed. All I know is that Jon and I have done what ever it has taken to get our family here. It has not been easy but it has been worth everything we have sacraficed to have these sweet children in our home. I would do it ALL over again. The Lord loves us and has a plan for us all!!!!!!!

Any way this is a long post and more for me as a memory, but I thought I would share. I will let you know how the Dr. apt goes!!! Never done that before, it should be neat!!!

A BABY GIRL!!!!!!

I just wanted to inform all of you that we are getting a baby girl!!!! We have been chosen through LDS family services for a third time!!! We are still in shock that this is even happening. I never thought in a million years we would be chosen again since we already have two. When our IVF didn't work we put our papers in because it was the only option we had left. It has only been in the last few months that I have felt hope in adoption and now I know why!! We have met the birth parents and they are awesome. We met them last Sat. and she called me on Sun. (mothers day) to tell us they had chosen US. It was the most precious Mothers Day gift ever. We are so excited to have a little girl around our home and feel so blessed to have this miracle of another child. She is the missing piece to our family and we can not wait to meet her. She is due July 31st but the Birth Mother has had some pre-term labor. We are praying she can make it as long as possible. She has invited us to the birth and we are so excited about it. It will be so neat to see one of our children come into this world. Words can not express how blessed we feel right now. Thanks to all of you for your love and prayers and for putting a link to our adoption web site on your blogs. You have all been a huge part in this process and we are grateful for your support through all of this. We LOVE you all!!!!!

MY 30th BIRTHDAY!!!!

Well it is official I am now 30!!! It was the best Birthday ever and I will never forget it!!

The boys surprised me by giving me a necklace and they took me to lunch and bowling. It was such a fun day. Later that night Jon took me to dinner at Corbin's. It was so yummy. After we were suppose to go to a movie but got a call from our babysitter that she had a family emergency and needed to go home and help. I totally bought it and we headed home. Jon acted so irritated that we had to cut the night short. He did such a good job at fooling me. I told him not to worry and that we would figure something out. I called my mom but she wasn't home, so then I tried my dad on his cell phone. He told me he was out in the barn but to bring the kids over and he would watch them. So that was the plan to take the kids to my dad and we would still be able to go to the movie.

Well you can see how surprised I was to walk in and find all my family and friends at our house. This is not the greatest picture of me but I laugh every time I look at it. I really had NO idea Jon had planned a surprise part for me.

It was the nicest thing he has ever done for me. I can not believe he went to that much work to surprise me. He was so happy to see me so surprised!!! My sweet sister in laws made me a book. They had everyone write things about me and put it in a little binder for me to keep. It was so sweet of them and everyone else to take the time to right down their thoughts of me.

I love my hubby so much. He makes my life so wonderful and shows me so much love. I don't know what I would do with out him!!! Thanks Jon for the best 30th Birthday ever!!!! My dad was so funny on the phone. He did such a good job making me believe he was home in the barn. Thanks mom for making the cakes!!!
Jon's family did so much to help him. Thanks guys for helping me celebrate my 30th Birthday!!!!

It was so fun to have so many people come. I have the best friends and family in the world!!!!

I WILL MISS MY SWEET GRANDPA!

My amazing Grandpa Max passed away on Friday. He has suffered with Alzheimer's for the past two years and had a stroke on the Wed. before he died. We were all able to be with him before he passed and say our good byes. I don't think you are ever quite ready to let someone you love so much and who has always been there go. But he is in a better place and is happy and whole again. It was such a spiritual experience for me to be there when he was passing. It made me reflect on life and what it is really all about, and that is FAMILY. Life passes us by so quickly and I want to make the very best of it. My mom and her siblings told of what a great Dad he was and all the fun memories they have with him. I want my kids to have wonderful memories that they can hold on to.

I have so many wonderful memories with my Grandparents and I am so grateful that we have always been close. It has been amazing to see my Grandma, my mom, my aunt and my uncle all take care of him for the past couple of years. It is because of my sweet Grandma he has been able to stay in is home and pass there as well. What a great example of patience and enduring love she is to me. My Grandpa adored her and I know he is so grateful for all she did for him the last years of his life.

We had such a wonderful last Christmas with him. Me, Jon and the boys went to see them on Christmas day. We all stayed in our Pj's and hung out. It was so special to spend that time with him. He was so alive at our family Christmas party this year. He loves to dance so we turned on the music and he danced one last dance with each of his grand daughters. What wonderful memories we have that we will cherish for the rest of our lives.

The funeral today was so nice my mom, aunt Cindy, and uncle Mark all did such a wonderful job. It really was the perfect funeral. We will miss him but I am so grateful of the knowledge I have that I will see him again some day!

HAPPY TEN YEARS TO MY HUBBY!

I just wanted to post a little love note to my sweet husband. Thanks for the best TEN YEARS of my life........

Well can you believe it, we have been married for ten years! It feels like only yesterday I opened my front door for our first date, and yet I cannot remember life without you. I just wanted to let you know how much I love, admire, respect, and adore you. You are such an amazing man, husband and father. I look back on my life and how you became a part of it and I know without a doubt the Lord had his hand in it. I fell in love with you on our first date sitting on your couch watching the wedding singer. Something inside told me I was in the right place. Ever since then my life has felt secure and in place. We have faced some hard times and through it all we are still here and more in love than ever. You have helped me through some of my darkest hours and have always been my guiding light. Because of you I have two sweet amazing boys and the joy that comes from being a mother. I cannot imagine my life without you and the boys. Everything I do is for you and our family and I know you feel the same way. Every day you serve us with your patience, love, understanding, compassion, and hard work. I am so proud of you and all that you have accomplished in the last ten years. You are where you are today because of your hard work and dedication. You work so hard to provide for our family and for that I am truly grateful. You are not only the provider but the patriarch as well. You bring the spirit into our home and make me want to be and do better. You teach the boys about the gospel and how to be leaders! I know they will grow up to be great men someday because of the example you are to them. You also bring fun and laughter into our home and show your love to the boys by playing with them. I am so grateful for all the times you keep Cade and Jake busy so I can get away or get things done. You take care of us in every aspect of life. Words cannot express my love and gratitude for what you have done for me. You have made all of my dreams come true and keep me believing in the ones yet to come. Thank you Jon for everything. You are truly my very best friend and I am grateful every day God led me to you!

Happy Ten Years Sweaty!