JUST ONE MORE THING!

So I am finding each day brings new challenges as we try to move on. I have found that I have to completely change my thought process and every thing seems to remind me of what might have been. But I do have to say that having two kids makes this a lot easier! Life has to move on with two boys who need you and want you to be upbeat and fun. I know that time heals everything.

I also wanted to add just a few words for those who are thinking about IVF and have been watching our blog. Jon and I have no regrets. IVF has worked for so many people. And even though it didn't work for us it was an amazing process. There was nothing easy about it but I would do it again if that is what felt right. So don't give up just because it didn't work for us and just know that if you try and it doesn't work I am living proof you will survive!!!!

When you find yourself in situations like ours it is hard to understand why. I learned a long time ago not to ask why because for now there is not an answerer. But I do know I am a stronger person because of this trial. It is not easy for people like us who struggle with infertility. We quietly watch the world move on as we deal with the pain of not being able to have a family. We watch others around us have children and share in there joy while our heart aches. I remember feeling that it was not fare that others around me were being blessed with a family and here I was with still no children. It is a difficult time but you have to find a way to get through it and separate your sadness from other peoples joy. This was a huge accomplishment for me when I could finally be happy for others while still sad for us. I have lots of people in my life expecting babies and I could not be happier for them. But this was not always so easy for me. We have been married for almost ten years and we have spent nine of them working on our family. It has been hard but worth every tear and heart ache. Sitting waiting for a miracle to happen is not the way it works although it would be nice. You have to be willing to do what ever it takes if you truly want a family. It has not been easy putting ourselves in such vulnerable situations but it is what has brought us great blessings. We love our boys birth parents and there families and have embraced the wonderful experience of adoption. We did not know our ability to love was so huge. And even though we have moved on we think of our sweet Birth Mothers often and talk to our boys about them. I look at my boys and know without a doubt they were meant to be ours! All I ever wanted was to be a mom just like my mom. I thought it would be so easy. Getting them here has not been easy and raising them deffinetly is not easy! But I have such a love and apreciation for the opportunity I have to be a mother and raise my boys. There is nothing I would rather be doing in my life than chacing after Cade and Jake! They bring Jon and I so much Joy and we thank the Lord every day for the blessings they are to us.

So to all my infertil sisters out there don't give up! If you truly want a family do what ever it takes to have one. No matter how they get here they will bring you more joy than you ever thought possible!!!!!!!!