I feel a lot better!

Well we went to the temple last night and now I feel a lot better! It is amazing the peace that can come to you when you go to the temple. Thanks for all the sweet comments and for being there for me. You are all so wonderful. The Dr. office called last night and upped my meds. to give my ovaries a little kick. I have an apt. tomorrow to see how things are going. I will keep you posted.

Just need to vent a little!

Well sorry to be such a cry baby in my last blog. I really am okay I just need to be honest every once in a while and tell how I REALLY feel. Life is just crazy right now. Jon is so so busy at work and it is not really showing in his numbers. I don't think I have ever seen him work so hard and be so frustrated with the results. Not very good timing as far as our IVF goes. He hasn't gone to any of my apt. with me because he has to spend every minute he can trying to build new business. He has so much pressure on him and I feel so bad and there is nothing I can do. I am not suppose to stress myself out......Yea Right! My kids have been so good but it has been hard to have me gone so much. I dropped Jake off at Nikki's and went to take Cade to pre-school so I could go to my Dr. apt. Well Cade wouldn't let me leave so I had to take him with me. The poor kid. I think he thought the Dr. apt was going to be fun instead I think he was traumatized. As the Dr. asked me to get undressed so they could do the Vag. Ultrasound he asks with a concerned look "Mom why are you taking your cloths off....what are they going to use that tool for"? I just made something up so he wouldn't worry. Then they had to draw more blood, but I reassured him it didn't hurt. I have been stuck in the same place three time this week but the nurse is awesome and I hardly feel it. Everyone there is just awesome and so positive.

I LOVE my family so much and I feel so bad I can't be there for them. Hopefully Jon's work will start picking up so we won't have that stress and by the end of next week we should be done with this going to the Dr. every other day. So now I feel better thanks for letting me vent. This really is GREAT therapy....and it doesn't cost $. Thanks for all your sweet comments they help so much. Oh by the way the Dr. apt went well. I have 18 follicles growing on the Right side and 12 on the Left. I guess this is good. There were only about 6 that were good size. But I am sure they will up my dose of meds to make them bigger. They will call me with my results later today. So if I look pregnant I am not my ovaries are just HUGE! Love you all and hope you have a good day!
P.S. I just have to thank a couple of more people for helping me...Jana you are the best, thanks for watching the boys while we go to the Temple tonight. And Laurie thank you for helping me with primary stuff.....you have taken such a load off and I am so grateful. Hopefully I can return the favors. Thanks guys!

A little pick me up!

So Jon had sales training today at his corporate office. When he got home from work he gave me a package that the Pres. of the company and his wife had made for me. I was so surprised to see a basket full of things to help me get through the next week. I had a really hard day today so it was perfect timing. I really needed a little pick me up. I had just told Jon I wanted him to ship me away for the next three weeks and then I could come home when it was all over with. Not really but I would much rather be sitting on a beach some where. Any way it was just what I needed. Bret and Cristy if you read this I just want you to know how much it meant to me that you would think of something so sweet to help me through this time. The basket was full of things like bubble bath,(I love the transformer bubble bath for Jon), movies, band aids and blind fold for my shots, chocolate, and my favorite the box of nuts.....cause I feel a little nuts right now! They all had a funny note to go with them. It really was so sweet and made me smile!

I am not sure why I am having such a hard time I just feel like CRAP! I am sooooooo.... tired which is a side effect of the Lu pron and I am always slightly nauseous. I really do feel good about everything. I think it is the drugs or at least I am going to blame them. It is also hard being so consumed with all of this and having two kids who depend so much on me. I am so grateful for all the help my sisters have given me. And Jon he is the best husband. He has been so busy at work and then he has to come home and deal with me. Thanks everyone for all your help and mom thanks for listening to me vent. What would I do without all of you!

I had a Dr. apt last Thurs. and everything looked great. I started all the other drugs on Sat. and went in again yesterday for a blood draw. They lowered some of my meds but said it all looked good. Now I go in again tomorrow for a blood draw and ultrasound and again on Sat. and probably Mon. before the egg retrieval. Some time around Wed. is when they will do the egg retrieval but it all depends on when your body is ready. The clinic is out on 106 south so it is quite the trip. But thanks to my sisters it makes it a lot easier. It has not been easy but we have made it this far. We are doing our part so now all we can do is put our trust in the Lord. I know he will bless us. Today is just a reminder to me that through hard times the Lord gives us tender mercies.... whether its a feeling of peace or a basket full of silly stuff to make you smile. He knows each one of us and our needs. I know that if we have faith and trust him he will bless us. Sorry to get all gooey again..... IT'S THE DRUGS! But thanks again Bret and Cristy! And I will keep you all posted throughout the next week.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO MY SWEET MOMS!

Well today is Mothers Day and I just wanted to take a minute and tell my mom how much I love her. I am so grateful for all the things she taught me. I know that she thinks there are things she should have done but to us she did everything right. It was by her example that certain things are important to me. Like: having a clean home, living on a budget, exercising, cooking for my family, not arguing in front of the kids, going to church each week, reading the scriptures, praying for my kids as I know she did us and still does, and most of all having FAITH no matter what! She is the strongest most loving woman I have ever known. She has ALWAYS been there for me.....like when I fell off my bike and skinned my knee, all the MANY nights I wet my bed and she had to change my sheets (that is true love), when I had my heart broken, planned my wedding, struggled to have children, waiting at the agency for my baby boy to be placed in my arms, when Jon got lost, Jake coming to our family and moving two weeks later, all the times I feel I have failed as a Mother and she reassures me I am doing a great job, and now as we are hoping to add another child into our family. She has always been my ROCK and I am grateful for her faith and her strength. My mom never waivers and always stays strong. I try so hard to be like her and just have Faith. I just want her to know how much I LOVE HER! Mom thanks for all you do for us and our kids. Not only are you the best Mother but you are the best Granny to our kids too. Happy Mothers Day Mom I love you sooooo...... Much!


Now for my sweet Mother-in-law. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to get such a wonderful Mother-in-law. When I met Jon I knew I was marring into a great family but I had now idea really how blessed I was. Carla does so much for our family. She is such an example to me of what it means to truly serve. She does so many fun things for us and our kids, from her Easter egg hunt to the Christmas Eve talent show. She is always thinking of ways to make things more fun, and she does it all for us. She is also such a hard worker and has defiantly done her time in the work field. We are all so happy she will be able to stay home soon. I admire how she has raised such successful sons and the sweetest daughter. Jon is the wonderful husband he is because of his Mother. My kids love there Grandma and all the fun things she does for them. She never misses anything and wants me tell her about things my kids are doing so she can be there to support them. She is also an example of strength to me and has always showed me so much love and support. From the very beginning she has always made me feel right at home. Thanks Carla for being the best Mother-in-law a gril could ask for and such a sweet Grandma to our kids. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY I LOVE YOU!

DISNEY LAND

Well we had a fabulous trip to California with our little family. It really is the happiest place on earth! I haven't been for about 12 years and Jon for about 15 so it was fun to see all the new stuff. The first night we walked around a little dazed and confused. It is overwhelming when you don't know where to go. As a parent all you want for your kids is to have the best time possible. Jon and I wanted this trip to be all about the kids and it was. We were exhausted by the time we had to go home. It was go go go all day long. Besides a few fits and one major melt down it was our funnest family Vacation ever. We didn't just wear ourselves out the kids were exhausted as well. Every night they were out like logs in a couple of minutes.

We couldn't have asked for better weather. It was around 70 the majority of the trip which was perfect. We had so much fun and it was so nice to get away and spend some time as a family. We can't wait to go back some day...it really was magical!!!!!!!

Now for a little update on our IVF

Other than when I had to do the shots I didn't think about our IVF at all which was a good break. I have officially put Jon in charge of my shots it is too much for me to have to get the guts up to actually stick my self with that needle every night. It was hard to put my trust in him I didn't know if he could do it without really hurting me. But it has been the best thing and he is doing a great job!. Thanks Hun for taking care of me. I stoped the BC and now I wait for a period. (sorry if this is too much info) I have an appointment on Thursday to see how my ovaries are doing and where my hormone levels are. They will also teach me how to mix all my meds and I will start on the FSH and HCG (which are hormones for those of you who don't know). So sorry to all those who have to deal with me I might be a little CRAZY! I can't believe it is really here. I am so scared and so excited at the same time. Say a little prayer for Jon!

IVF UPDATE.....OUCH!!!

Well today is the day we have been dreading.....I start my shots today! I had my mom come over and show me how to do it. To my surprise it was not bad at all. I am feeling really good about things right now. I have been so emotional the last couple of days about the whole thing. But you know what you just have to have faith and know that things will turn out the way they are suppose to. So today has made me feel a lot better. You just grab some belly fat (good thing I have plenty of that) and stick the needle in fast and give yourself the shot. I Hardley even felt it. This is really good news! Thought I would give you a visual of what the needle looks like. Not so bad huh.

See all this worrying and wondering and all for nothing. I need to listen to my mom and Jon when they say "don't worry". The shot I am taking is Lupron not real sure what it does but there are not any side effects. The only thing that has bothered me is the Birth Control. You know how that is! I have gained a couple pounds which does not make me happy, especially when I am trying so hard with diet and exercise. But all well what do you do? So I will do this for 13 days and then we will start adding in other meds and the Progesterone injections. Lots of fun huh!

We are leaving for Disney Land tomorrow for six days and we are so excited. I feel like the IVF stuff has consumed my life....so I am excited to get away and focus on having some fun. The boys are dying and can hardly wait. Even little Jakie gets so excited even though he doesn't quite know what it is. Cade on the other hand has been counting down the days. The boys have been earning money for the past three months to take so they can buy some things. We broke open the piggy banks the other day and they each had $30. Not bad for a kid. Granny and Papa added $10 to that so now they each have $40 which is a ton of money to a little boy. Lets just hope it will buy more than one item.

Well thats about all ......

I just want to say thank you to everyone for your love and prayers, it means so much. Pray we have some good weather in California. I will have lots to blog when I get home. See Ya!

A package.......for ME?

So on Friday morning I had a package delivered. Nothing gets me more excited than to see a package on my front door. I thought for sure it must be my cute cloths I bought for a great deal from children's place. But as soon as I looked at the label I knew what it was. I just put it up high so the boys couldn't get to it and then I left to go to Logan to do a Boutique with Nikki and Ginger. But tonight when I got home I decided I would open it. And this is what we found.

We now have our very own little Pharmacy....well I guess I do! I was a little overwhelmed when I pulled out all of the medicine and Needles. I just hope I can mix it all right and give myself the right dose. It is all just CRAZY and EXCITING at the same time. We even have our very own needle dispenser. Note all those needles. I really am just ready to get this thing started. It is so hard to be in this position but I am so grateful for the Reproductive Care Center and all they have done to help us prepare for this. Technology is amazing these days and I feel blessed to have the option of IVF. It is so nice to hear about all the people it is working for. Just pray for me that I can be BRAVE! I have been so sick from the Metphormin but you just have to keep busy and keep going. It will be worth it. Kiss your little ones a million times today they are such miracles!

I also want to tell Jon thanks for all you have done for me this week. He has been so wonderful and has taken care of me and the boys. Thanks for being patient Jon I love you!

Our IVF journey has officially started!

As some of you may know Jon and I have made the HUGE decision to do IVF. This has been a long time in the making and we are finally ready to make the emotional investment. We can handle the money part, it is just the roller coaster ride we dread. Not that we are rich but it is easier to let go of money than it is the dream of another child. BUT we are putting ourselves out there and we are going to make the very best of it. That is why I am going to be "blogging" our IVF experience. For all those who are thinking about this option for themselves and for all the people who love and care about us. I know it is not always easy to ask questions. This way you will know the scoop. Most of you know we are very open about our situation so please don't ever hesitate to ask. You all know I am a talker. Jon and I are very hopeful and feel that thinking positive can help a lot. Still being young and not having severe fertility problems, we feel like our chances a very good. We will need lots of prayers!

We already have two MIRACLES in our lives and we wonder how could we possibly ask for more. The Lord has given us the sweetest two boys to share our lives with and we cherish every moment as a family knowing how precious it really is. We love you all and we are so grateful for all your love and support.

SO THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE DONE SO FAR...........
I have started my BC pills to get me on the right cycle and make me ovulate when they want me to. I have also started a drug called Metformin. That combined with the prenatals have made me really sick the last couple of days. I have found that gum helps a lot. Sorry Jon! (he hates gum) I will start the shots of Lu pron in my stomach on April 25th. We went to an IVF class today and learned how to give me the shots. I think I will be able to do it myself but if not Jon is now a pro. I feel a lot better after finding out you no longer have to do them three times a day just once. You can mix all the meds into one shot which was really good news for me. That doesn't include the progesterone shot with a big old needle in my back side. But that doesn't start for awhile so we won't think about that yet. So that is the start of our process. I will keep you all posted and again thank you for being so supportive.

Kim's 29th Birthday

Can I just say I am so excited about this blogging thing. This will be my journal from now on and I can't wait to see what becomes of it! I believe the greatest gift you can leave your loved ones is a journal of your life. I have alway LOVED to journal and I cherish all of the memories I took the time to write on paper. What an amazing time we live in to be able to share with so many people our thoughts and feelings.

My Dad called and asked me to go to lunch on my Birthday but I was already going out with my in-laws.... so he took me today. We met at Apple Bee's and spent the next hour and a half talking. Long after the oriental salad was gone we were still talking. I absolutely adore my dad. We have always been close but when you get married and have kids you don't always find the one on one time with your dad. Especially as a daughter you kinda talk more to your mom when you become a mom. I have so many wonderful memories with my dad growing up and I am so grateful for that. I was kind of a tom boy and loved going hunting and fishing with my dad. He tought me how to live in the outdoors. I am defiantly a girly girl you all know that. But thanks to my Dad I can get down and dirty and I even know how to shoot a shot gun. Hard to imagine I know. A little cheesy to take the camera I know but I wanted to have a picture of this fun day I spent with my Dad. Thanks for a great lunch Dad I love you!

So yesterday was my Birthday and I am now 29! I have to say it was the best Birthday ever!!! Jon is always such a good gift giver and always makes my Birthday special. We all went to breakfast that morning at Mimi's cafe and it was sooo....yummy! We all got french toast and shared. Later that afternoon I went to lunch with all my sis-in-laws and Mother-in-law at Jason's deli. It was so much fun to share my day with my all of them. Cade got me a Yoga mat which I am so excited about. Now I won't have to lay on the germ infested floor at the gym. Jake got me a water bottle that I love. Now I am set for the Gym. Jon got me a labeler so now I can label my entire house. Since Jenn became a "Professional Organizer" I think we have all tried to be a bit more organized. I have learned so much from her. Especially after living at her house for four days. You should see her closets they are amazing! Now I can have my closets look like hers with everything in it's place. I am so excited. Jon also watched the kids after work so I could go and get a massage. It was the most relaxing hour of my day. He also did the dishes that night and cleaned the entire kitchen. What a great hubby. One last surprise was a Baskin Robins mint chocolate chip ice cream cake. Jon even got Birthday hats. We ate so much we were sick. I can't even look at it today. But it was sure yummy. Thanks Jon and Boys my birthday was a wonderful day just for me. I LOVE YOU!